I suppose you all know of Gordon Ramsey? He is a super famous English chef, well known for his hot temper and his generous use of swear words.
I love Gordon Ramsey, and I love all his shows, especially ‘Kitchen Nightmares’, where he travels around the USA and fixes horrible restaurants and terrible kitchens.
Well, if I could get him to fix one thing for me, I would probably create a special show called ‘Housing Nightmares’.
Finding a flat in London
English houses can be a nightmare. Finding a decent house in London is as difficult as finding a decent job. And once you have found one, you never know what can happen: rent goes up, boilers brake, bathrooms stop functioning, beds and carpets turn out to be old, you discover nasty curtains with horrible colours, or you end up with rooms the size of a cupboard for the cost of a big mansion.
Heating would be the first point to underline. English houses always seem either too cold or too hot. Either the heating is so hot that you feel like you’re in the Caribbean, or it’s not working, so when you wake up in the morning to take a shower, you could easily meet a penguin on your way to the bathroom.
Showers are always a problem. If you live in a house in London with a powerful shower, please, give me a ring. It takes me half an hour to take a decent shower at mine, since I have to wait for the water to warm up, then for the pressure to be right, then for the water not to be too hot. By the time I’m ready to go I am already late.
Last but not least, the worst thing about English houses are the separate taps for hot and cold water. How should I mix the two? How can I wash my hands without freezing them for a second or boiling them?
Gordon, if you read this, please can we create a show on English houses? I promise to swear liberally.
Article related: English vocabulary for renting a flat
image: Matt Lake